Proposal for larger bins to double as microhomes

We understand the Minister for Homelessness, Lack of Planning and General Chaos, Eoghan Murphy, has asked his officials to examine providing new and larger bins around Dublin City.

Speaking after a photoshoot with GQ and just before the launch of ‘Pavement Chic’, his new, limited clothing line, the Minister said that the move made sense.

“We know that the average studio apartment is spacious, or so my officials have told me. They are, however, at one and the same time not much larger than an average city bin.

Therefore, my Department and I have come up with yet another genius idea to solve the housing situation – only Sinn Féin and the homeless, if there’s a difference, call it a crisis.

These new ‘human bins’ will give everyone a roof over their head – although they can pop it out really quickly to ask passersby for food and change.  We are convinced this meets the needs of everyone.

Those without homes get accommodation and those comfortably off get a cleaner safer environment.We are calling it the “Bin the Homeless” Scheme and we think it will be major success, at least in the media, which believes everything I say.”

After an exhausting 45 minutes of ministering, Murphy was then chauffered off for a well earned brunch and a nap.