Well, we have had some truly terrific hovels featured on these pages before and loathe as we are to pick out just one magnificent dream home as the uber manifestation of what we all long for in a home, this latest entry onto the market is unique in so so many ways.
First the picket fence that envelops the property in a warm fuzzy embrace! Isn’t that the sine qua non, the piece de resistance and the cat’s pyjamas all rolled into one? Your eyes are out on stalks already, aren’t they? You can’t quite believe what you’re seeing and we’re selling, eh?
Never mind the fence is edgy red, none of that staid so-last-millenium white version – let’s face it only the KKK do white fences these days darlings – just feast your attention on the location.
Location is the watchword for quality honest estate agents everywhere. And us. And what a location – plum slap dab in the middle of Dublin’s main
warzone thoroughfare: O’Connell Street. You can see the bright lights twinkling merrily in the soft-focused background above (not the blue flashing ones, they’re slightly different but let’s not get distracted) – yes, you did read that correctly, we’re not trying to pull the wool over your eyes or sell you a pig in a poke, you can live on O’Connell Street! The heart of beating beating heart of the city.
You can have your very own private verandah overlooking the nation’s prime boulevard and its never-ending cavalcade of colourful characters, exotic traffic and mellifluous ambience – you won’t believe your eyes or ears (or nose) if you’re lucky enough to secure a life less ordinary* at this exquisite address.
The site is choc full of opportunity for the ultimate glamping experience** that will be like nothing your imagination could conjure up*** We promise.
To view this very special Dublin residence, email us at: AtLeastItsNotSomalia@HolesForHabitation.com
Rental price guide: €1300 a month and one kidney as a deposit – in some circumstances the owner may accept contributions towards his hair transplant: one or two adult scalps.
*And possibly shorter.
**Own glamping equipment needed. Possibly stab-proof. Preferably armoured.
*** Unless your imagination gets off on mashing up Apocalypse Now, Alien and Trainspotting – in which case, perhaps we might, reluctantly, forego the pleasure of making your acquaintance.