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Paddle Your Own Canoe In This Ultra-Desirable Waterside Location

All this could be yours!

Thought the rental situation in Dublin couldn’t get any worse? The underside of bridges beginning to hold an appeal in a certain light? You’ve always wanted a bit of excitement and danger in your life, and well, let’s face it, living under a bridge does have that certain ‘je ne sais quoi’…

Well, your eyes do not deceive you. This is indeed a bridge. And, yes, that is water running under it.  No doubt you’re thinking, “But where could I pitch my tent?”  Fear not, here at “For Every Housing Problem We Have A Solution” estate agents, we have anticipated just this sort of mindset! And we have the perfect solution for you! We provide you with your very own ‘spot’ under the canal (we’ve secured Dublin City Council’s permission to lease out spots in this location) PLUS a free tarpaulin to tie up around the bridge creating a dry and cosy covering. And that’s not all, we’ll also throw in a canoe to create your very own, compact and portable floating home!!:-)

This Bohemian lifestyle comes with a very reasonable price tag, a mere €500 rental per month. Obviously, there’ll be a deposit of €500 to secure your ‘spot’ under the bridge and references will be required to arrange a viewing. Don’t hesitate to call us today and snap up this picturesque spot before it’s gone!

Call us today at 01-9996666 or email Quentin at daylightrobberyestateagents@gmail.com

 

So near and yet so far

Side By Side: Grade A Offices to let and one of the 5000 homeless citizens in Dublin….

Not so far from the Dail, Ireland’s national parliament – actually just a stone’s throw away – was this invaluable insight into the wellsprings of Dublin’s housing and homeless crisis.

In the picture above you can see a vacant building, recently refurbished to a high standard. Right beside it, sleeping in a doorway open to the elements, a homeless person.

There’s no better graphical illustration of what’s wrong with the current situation – our priorities as a society are as skewed, unfair and unjust as the juxtaposition above.

How do we remedy this and how long before we do?

 

Derelict buildings, massive rents, up close and personal with rats – welcome to student accommodation in Dublin!

Sumptuous student accommodation (All rights, Newstalk FM)

Students are people too – aren’t they?

Some landlords seem to think not.

Instead, they view them as milch cows, a source of cash to be packed in tightly and milked relentlessly for all they’re worth – and hang the consequences.

Untrammelled greed is a terrible thing to witness and a worse thing to be gripped by – but as far as concrete ramifications go, there don’t appear to be any for these unscrupulous landlords.

Cramming as many as fifteen people (or more) into a small space will eventually and inevitably lead to tragedy – mixing high occupancy rates with old buildings in bad condition is tantamount to inviting a fire.

Beyond the terrible prospect of death and serious injury, is a more mundane question.

Why is it considered permissible to charge €750 for substandard accommodation? And to treat one category of people – students – differently, that is to say much less favourably, than others?

In the current housing and accommodation crisis a far more rigorous and active housing standards inspectorate is badly needed – not only to protect against decrepit and unsanitary lettings but to combat potential fatalities.

It’s easier to sanction the living than raise the dead.

How to solve the housing crisis – lessons from Germany

Housing supply, quality and price is not determined by some mystical accident – it’s decided by political policy.

And Irish government policies, shaped by ideology rather than practicality or reality, have brought about the worst possible outcomes – for the country, its citizens and the economy.

Time for a major rethink along German lines rather than moving the deckchairs on the Titanic….

An article by Eamonn Fingleton in Forbes magazine explains how that system works:

 

https://www.forbes.com/sites/eamonnfingleton/2014/02/02/in-worlds-best-run-economy-home-prices-just-keep-falling-because-thats-what-home-prices-are-supposed-to-do/#5a3b8cab6ad0

“By Eamonn Fingleton, Forbes contributor

 

When Americans travel abroad, the culture shocks tend to be unpleasant. Robert Locke’s experience was different. In buying a charming if rundown house in the picturesque German town of Goerlitz, he was surprised – very pleasantly – to find city officials second-guessing the deal. The price he had agreed was too high, they said, and in short order they forced the seller to reduce it by nearly one-third. The officials had the seller’s number because he had previously promised  to renovate the property and had failed to follow through.

As Locke, a retired historian, points out, the Goerlitz authorities’ attitude is a striking illustration of how differently the German economy works. Rather than keep their noses out of the economy, German officials glory in influencing market outcomes. While the Goerlitz authorities are probably exceptional in the degree to which they micromanage house prices, a fundamental principle of German economics is to keep housing costs stable and affordable.

It is hard to quarrel with the results. On figures cited in 2012 by the British housing consultant Colin Wiles, one-bedroom apartments in Berlin were then selling for as little as $55,000, and four-bedroom detached houses in the Rhineland for just $80,000. Broadly equivalent properties in New York City and Silicon Valley were selling for as much as ten times higher.

görlitz 1994

Goerlitz: picturesque — and tightly controlled. (Photo credit: chrisbulle)

Although conventional wisdom in the English-speaking world holds that bureaucratic intervention in prices makes for subpar outcomes, the fact is that the German economy is by any standards one of the world’s most successful. Just how successful is apparent in, for instance, international trade. At $238 billion in 2012, Germany’s current account surplus was the world’s largest. On a per-capita basis it was nearly 15 times China’s and was achieved while German workers were paid some of the world’s highest wages. Meanwhile German GDP growth has been among the highest of major economies in the last ten years and unemployment has been among the lowest.

On Wiles’s figures, German house prices in 2012 represented a 10 percent decrease in real terms compared to thirty years ago. That is a particularly astounding performance compared to the UK, where real prices rose by more than 230 percent in the same period. (Wiles’s commentaries can be read here and here.)

A key to the story is that German municipal authorities consistently increase housing supply by releasing land for development on a regular basis. The ultimate driver is a  central government policy of providing financial support to municipalities based on an up-to-date and accurate count of the number of residents in each area.

The German system moreover is deliberately structured to encourage renting rather than owning. Tenants enjoy strong rights and, provided they pay their rent, are virtually immune from eviction and even from significant rent increases.

Meanwhile demand for owner occupation is curbed by German regulation. German banks, for instance, are rarely permitted to lend more than 80 percent of the value of a property, thus a would-be home buyer first needs to accumulate a deposit of at least 20 percent. To cap it all, ownership of a home is subject to a serious consumption tax, while landlords are encouraged by favorable tax treatment to maximize the availability of rental properties.

How does all this contribute to Germany’s economic growth? Locke, a prominent critic of America’s latter-day enthusiasm for doctrinaire free-market solutions and a professor emeritus at the University of Hawaii, notes that a key outcome is that Germany’s managed housing market helps smooth the availability of labor. And by virtually eliminating  bubbles, the German system minimizes the sort of misallocation of resources that is more or less unavoidable in the Anglo-American boom-bust cycle. That cycle is exacerbated by tax incentives which encourage citizens to view home ownership as an investment, resulting in much hoarding and underutilization of space.

In the  German system moreover,  house-builders  rarely accumulate the huge large land banks that are such a dangerous distraction for U.S. house-builders like Pulte Homes, D. R. Horton, Lennar, and Toll Brothers. German house-builders just focus on building good-quality homes cheaply, secure in the knowledge that additional land will become available at reasonable cost when needed.

Locke is the co-author, with J.C. Spender, of Confronting Managerialism: How the Business Elite and Their Schools Threw Our Lives Out of Balance, a book I highly recommend.”

Wood You Believe it? A compact ‘Green’ Scandinavian style home with all modcons

The world’s happiest people live in Denmark. Detached from the rat race and soulless materialism, they focus on the essentials. 

Now you can too! 

A rare and unique opportunity to rent a compact sliver of Scandinavia-on-the-Southside, this cosy home is very much at one with the environment. 

Little separates you from the wonders and wistful essentials of wild nature, barely even walls or a roof. 

It’s almost like living in the wide open bountiful lap of Mother Nature herself. **

The surrounding locale of Terenure is to die for!***

Equipped with every convenience today’s renter could want except pesky divisive internal dividing walls, the immaculate open plan space will bring people together in a true spirit of togetherness and community. 

With views of nature and greenery visible from everywhere inside the property, it comes finished (almost) with high grade premium Norwegian pine walls, floors and ceilings at no extra cost. 

The last resident of this divine Nordic retreat has moved due to a need for treatment of blocked valves,**** or otherwise this little piece of Valhalla wouldn’t be on the market!  

To secure this super dooper residence like no other, contact us today at: SuperShedsAndOutlandishOuthouses@TitaniumNecks.gmail.com  

** Instead of someone’s back garden

*** Literally if you try to light a fire inside.

**** The lawnmower is making a full recovery under the tender ministrations  of Mick the Mechanic.  
*This actually a real ad on Daft! No, seriously someone is rely renting a garden shed: https://lovindublin.com/dublin/pics-there-is-an-actual-shed-on-daft-going-for-850-a-month*

Modest Holding in an InSpired Location

Well, we have had some truly terrific hovels featured on these pages before and loathe as we are to pick out just one magnificent dream home as the uber manifestation of what we all long for in a home, this latest entry onto the market is unique in so so many ways.

First the picket fence that envelops the property in a warm fuzzy embrace! Isn’t that the sine qua non, the piece de resistance and the cat’s pyjamas all rolled into one? Your eyes are out on stalks already, aren’t they? You can’t quite believe what you’re seeing and we’re selling, eh?

Never mind the fence is edgy red, none of that staid so-last-millenium white version – let’s face it only the KKK do white fences these days darlings – just feast your attention on the location.

Location is the watchword for quality honest estate agents everywhere. And us. And what a location – plum slap dab in the middle of Dublin’s main warzone thoroughfare: O’Connell Street. You can see the bright lights twinkling merrily in the soft-focused background above (not the blue flashing ones, they’re slightly different but let’s not get distracted) – yes, you did read that correctly, we’re not trying to pull the wool over your eyes or sell you a pig in a poke, you can live on O’Connell Street! The heart of beating beating heart of the city.

You can have your very own private verandah overlooking the nation’s prime boulevard and its never-ending cavalcade of colourful characters, exotic traffic and mellifluous ambience – you won’t believe your eyes or ears (or nose) if you’re lucky enough to secure a life less ordinary* at this exquisite address.

The site is choc full of opportunity for the ultimate glamping experience** that will be like nothing your imagination could conjure up*** We promise.

To view this very special Dublin residence, email us at: AtLeastItsNotSomalia@HolesForHabitation.com

Rental price guide: €1300 a month and one kidney as a deposit – in some circumstances the owner may accept contributions towards his hair transplant: one or two adult scalps.

 

*And possibly shorter.

**Own glamping equipment needed. Possibly stab-proof. Preferably armoured.

*** Unless your imagination gets off on mashing up Apocalypse Now, Alien and Trainspotting – in which case, perhaps we might, reluctantly, forego the pleasure of making your acquaintance.